BCE Nonsense: Starbucks Squatting

I often find myself reflecting on the simpler times Before Corona Era (BCE)… hugs, smiling faces, live music, sporting events, high fives. There are a lot of things that we are obviously missing these days as we keep our distance and do whatever we can to minimize the spread of this terrifying virus. But I am not going to write about those things. Instead, I am going to write about the BCE nonsense. The little things that you don’t necessarily think about every day, but there’s a painful sting when you realize their absence.

First up: Starbucks Squatting. Starbucks is so much more than your fancy grande half caff, add whip, two pump vanilla soy macchiato served in a venti cup with your name spelled so very almost correctly. It’s even more than the impeccable service with a smile from the cheery baristas in their jolly green aprons. It’s a seated experience. Or at least it used to be…

On a recent Starbucks pop-in (which is really all it can be these days), I donned my mask and ran in to retrieve my mobile order. The baristas are still cheerful as ever, and you can feel them smiling behind their masks. But I caught a glimpse of some sad, lonely love seats and chairs banished to the corner with a a rope and a sign that said something to the effect of “Seating temporarily unavailable.” My heart sank as I thought back to how just a few months ago, the scene would have been so very different.

Starbucks was the place where, if you were lucky enough to snag a good seat, you could squat for the day on your laptop, slurping up the free WiFi long after your last sip of coffee. While the faces around you might change, the cast of characters is generally the same.

Your Starbucks Squatting stereotypes:

• The awkward business interviewer and interviewee, fumbling for conversation.
• The tech nerd with the big headphones, cranking out a funky graphic design on his laptop, nodding his head to the beat of the bass.
• The college student, heads down cramming for the exam she should’ve started studying for two weeks earlier.
• The hipster, hoarding all of the outlets in the corner, blogging away about the perils of technology.
• The moms, post pilates/pre tennis, catching up on the latest neighborhood gossip in their Lulu gear.
• The pampered pooch sitting at the table outside, devouring her puppuccino.

I miss y’all, squatters. I hope you are staying well and caffeinated, and I hope that we will be back to the squatting days by the time the new holiday cups debut. As does Bohzie.

Stay nonsensical, friends.

Gee